Suggested questions for speaking

- first impressions in your life

- body language

- memory

- how to keep achieving your goals

- online learning

- being a famous person

- money and success

- true friend

- ways of living in modern time

- how to lead a happy life

- advertising

- getting married to foreigners

1 Being a famous person

Do you really think being famous is as great as it seems? I used to think that. I wanted so much to be famous and well known around the world, but as I pursued my dreams of being an actress and a fashion designer, I'm not so sure if I want to be famous. Yes I want to be wealthy, but the fame I could take it or leave it. People don't understand that there's more to being famous than just signing autographs (chữ ký, bút tích) or getting picked up for an endorsement(chung nhan). There's the scrutiny(xem xét kỹ), the overwhelming public spotlight, the lack of privacy, the fashion critics, and the pressure to maintain a squeaky clean image. The moment you falter, the quickly the media will be on you like a tiger on its prey. I think Chris Brown can totally agree with me on that one!

Everyday I ask my self the question of "Could I handle the pressure of trying to maintain this perfect image if I were famous"? The answer that I came up with was that I couldn't. The longer it takes me to reach my goals, the more I questioned is becoming famous really something that I want to deal with. As I read and hear about other famous people going through their issues or feeling a significant amount of pressure to be that golden person to their fans, customers, or the media, I can't help but think how much of a toll that can take on them. As I am getting older and becoming even more mature, my talks of walking the red carpet or being at a premiere has gone away. I'm not saying that it won't happen because the possibility is always there, but what I am saying is that I am looking at the reality of my pursuit of becoming an actress and fashion designer.

When a person is famous, we feel that everything in their life should be top of the line. For example, we think that any famous person should always fly first class and not economy. We think that a famous person should always shop at Neiman Marcus and not Wal-Mart. We think that a famous person should be driving a Mercedes and not a PT Cruiser. We think that a famous person should live in a million dollar mansion and not a three hundred thousand dollar house. We think that a famous person should sport a Chanel handbag and not a Jaclyn Smith handbag from K-mart. We think that famous people are suppose to go to high priced nail salons and not the small Asian owned nail place which is less expensive but does a great job. These are some of the things that people in general expect from people who are famous. I look at my life now and I enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart, I enjoy my Jaclyn Smith handbags, and I enjoy driving my PT Cruiser. If I were to become famous, could I stop shopping at Wal-Mart because that's what people expect me to do? Could I give up getting a five or ten dollar manicure because my fans think I should be paying fifty bucks or more for the same thing? I'm not sure if I could.

What I feel is the biggest problem for famous people is the media. The media can either make you or break you. They definitely can break you in a heartbeat. Just ask Hillary Clinton. I do want to be an actress and a fashion designer, but I don't want to be so out there that the media will just do everything they can to hold me to a certain standard and when I make a mistake, they come after me. I know if you get a little status that the media every now and then may say something bad about you whether it was a bad movie you played in or what you wore that they felt was a fashion disaster. I don't want to be at a high status that I'm always concerned about the outfits that I'm wearing day to day and if someone snaps a photo of me, I'll be the fashion don't on the front page cover! Michelle Obama has now been made into a fashion icon and the moment she is seen in an outfit that's not so stylish, what type of scrutiny from the media will she have to endure? I'm quite sure that everyday she has to live with the pressure of making sure she looks good to keep the media at bay.

So, is being famous really a great thing? Some of you may say yes and some may think no after reading this. As for me, I will work diligently to pursue my goals, but the thought of fame will not overwhelm me the way it used to. I would love to see people wearing my clothes, watching one of my films, or even having a loyal fan base. But at the end of the day, I still want to feel like me which may be hard to do if I was really famous. I feel like this, if you are not actively pursing fame but it happens to come, you can better control your life and how much of that fame you want to swim in. But if you are actively pursing fame, when you get it, be prepared to not only deal with the glitz, but the not so glitz of it as well. I'm going to focus on just being financially well off and if fame decides to come my way, I'll determine how much of it I want to have.

2 Advertising

I think that everyone can divide all advertising products and services into useless ones and useful ones. It is like looking through an information desk when you pay attention to those messages that interest you. Take me for example.

I do not like jewelry. It does not mean I do not have it at all, I have a couple of inexpensive rings as gifts from my parents. I just think, people pay too much attention to this stuff. I believe it is the result of mass advertising. Every day when I am watching TV, listening to the radio or reading the paper I notice many ads about getting an expensive ring, chain, necklace or ear-rings. From my point of view these kinds of advertising contaminate people's minds. In this case you are encouraged to buy things you do not really need. They make you believe you need such products in order to succeed or be happy. 

From the other side, I think that advertisements of the new detergents with up-to-date formulas to help you maintain your cloth in perfect conditions, the new cars with some extra futures that make your traveling more comfortable and sports goods that make your life healthier may help you to improve your life. 

Recently my husband and I saw an ad on the Internet about a very interesting and inexpensive vocation to Japan for a week. Is not it awesome? We like traveling. So now we are planning to find out more about it and, may be, make reservations. I belief that without advertisements we would be unaware about plenty of oppotunities that may make your life happier, easier and less stressful.

My point is that every person has his own scale of values. So if he is vegetarian he will consider an ad about meat products useless for him.

3. Getting merried to foreigner

Since Vietnam opened its door to welcome foreigners, many inter-marriages have come into being, in most cases between Vietnamese women and foreign men. In your opinion, do you think they can live happily with each other? Do they have any problems in their marital life? And how can they overcome their differences?

First of all, different language leads to difficulties in communication. Then, different customs and ways, cause a lot of conflicts in their daily life. For example, they have different eating habits, ways of dressing, social behavior, and even way of educating their children. In addition, different religions or beliefs, generate differences in spiritual life; different viewpoints on life, lead to conflicting ideas and aims; different tastes in art, music, movies etc. also cause different ways of entertaining.

However, they can overcome those problems, if they are really and deeply in love. Their true love helps them overcome their differences. To adapt themselves to a new community, one spouse should learn about his or her partner’s languages and cultures. They have to help each other, to be aware of their cultural and custom differences, then work mutually, in order to bridge the gap in their cultures. Many intermarried couples who have passed this test, can live happily with each other.

In fact, many Vietnamese ladies get married to foreigners, not because of true love, but of a dream of a comfortable life in a foreign country. Thus, how can they live happily with each other? Moreover, Vietnamese ladies are treated (doi xu) very badly, and sometimes are deceived (lua doi) by their foreign husbands or husbands’ families. When they follow their husbands to their “promising land”, they are forced to work as servants (nguoi hau, nguoi phuc vu), even prostitutes(ban re danh du, gai diem). They have to serve their disable or too old husbands (nguoi chong gia va bat luc). More dangerously, some Vietnamese ladies were killed or killed themselves. Thus, I think that these girls may suffer from a miserable life(dau kho vi mot cuoc song cung cuc) , instead of a good life as they thought.

4. Online learning

10 Reasons Students Prefer Learning Online

1. I can sleep in (ngu nhieu hon binh thuong)

While this may sound indulgent (nuong chieu)to the over-30 crowd who is often of the mindset (quan niem, nếp suy nghĩ) that students need to be prepared for the 9 – 5 world into which they will graduate, the reality is this.

Adolescents (thanh nien) need more sleep.

Adolescents often function best late at night and do not function well early in the morning.

The jobs today’s adolescents will have quite likely will not fit the traditional 9 -5 mold (khuon-phu nu truyen thong).

It makes sense that students enjoy the opportunity to learn when they are well-rested and most alert (lanh loi). Research studies indicate that students enjoy learning on a schedule aligned to their circadian rhythms rather than the schedule that in many districts was created to enable bus companies to operate most efficiently. As a result traditional school has classes full of students who every day feel the kind of tired that is akin (na ná như)to being jet lagged.

2. I can pursue (theo duoi) my passions (dam me, niem say me)

A flaw with the American education system is that there is little to no focus on pursuit of our dreams and passions which is often driven by a system that rewards rote memorization and mediocrity. Several students who learn online are doing so because they are pursuing a passion that does not allow them to fit in to the traditional school system. How wonderful it is that students are able to begin exploring and developing their passions while they are in school. We heard from a student who competes in horse competitions, for others it might be music, writing, acting, or filmmaking. We must stop teaching subjects and start teaching students who can be writers, scientists, singers, dancers, and historians today.

3. I can focus on my work without distractions from my classmates

For many students school is a huge distraction, especially in high school where the focus in often more on socializing and fitting in then on learning. Students shared that in online classes, many of the regular distractions from socializing, to intercom announcements, to disruptive students, no longer existed and they could place their attention on learning.

4. I can move at my own pace

A tremendous benefit of learning online is that, when done right, students can learn at their own pace. For some, this might mean they can demonstrate (chung to, giai thích) competency (kha nang) upfront (tra truoc, thanh toan truoc) and get credit for the class. For others this may mean moving at a slower pace (buoc di, cach di) and receiving additional supports if necessary.

5. I don’t have to compete to share my thoughts and ideas

Students in online environments enjoy the equity (cong bằng) in the ability to share thoughts and ideas. No longer is it just the student in the front of the room or the one with the loudest voice who is heard. When learning online the playing field is leveled and opportunities are in place such as commenting on posts, videos, and student work or participating (tham gia vào 1 hđ) in discussion forums (dien dan). These environments provide students with varied opportunities to share their thoughts and ideas.

6. I can take more interesting classes

Providing online opportunities for students means providing more choice. Students can more easily pursue (theo duoi) study in areas of interest. They are no longer dependent (phu thuoc) on the staffing limitations of their particular school or community.

7. I can learn with a schedule that meets my needs

There are a number of reasons that students might not be able to participate in the traditional classroom environment. These students have often been left behind. One might be caring for a sick relative; another required to watch a sibling, for some pregnancy or incarceration (tù binh) has interfered with (làm cản trở ngành giao duc) education attainment (đat được). These students no longer (ko còn …. Nữa) need to be left behind if online options are provided. 

8. I can learn despite health issues that might get in the way of a traditional class setting

Students who haven’t found success in the traditional environment due to health issues can thrive (thinh vuong, phat dat) in online environments. While this might include a student who is hospitalized, has certain disabilities, or is suffering from a terminal (giai doan cuối) illness, many students have less obvious (ro rang) issues that have made success in traditional school settings difficult. Perhaps a student suffers from a sleeping disorder(lon xộn, mất trật tự), social disorder, or from an intestinal (ruột,trong ruột) condition that just doesn’t fit with the bell schedule. These are just a few examples that in the traditional school setting result in students who end up leaving the system due to excessive(vượt mức) absences/tardiness (vắng mặt/ đi muộn), or labeled as just not paying attention…because they are sleeping in class and miss the material covered.

9. I can easily communicate with my teacher when I need to

Students participating in online environments often share that they appreciate the ease and opportunities available to communicate with their teacher. It is often difficult, if not impossible, to get your teacher’s attention in a traditional 45-minute period and if you do, you may not want to have your discussion heard by the entire class. Online environments typically have structures in place where students can easily send private instant messages or emails to their teacher leaving them feeling much more supported by and connected to their teacher. 

10. I can easily communicate with my classmates when I want to

A traditional classroom setting often discourages students from communicating with one another. It can be considered disruptive to instruction or limited by the physical placement of students. The online environment makes it much easier for students to connect with one another on topics of interest in both synchronous and asynchronous environments. 

Though the technology exists to provide these environments for students, sadly, few students have, or know they have, such opportunities available to them. For most students, they exist, or are unable to exist, in an educational system stuck in the past that has not introduced them to such options. Why? There are several reasons which include being in a system that requires us to follow outdated policies that may have worked for yesterday’s students, but do not work today. Changing these policies in a bureaucratic, slow-moving, political climate can be a tremendous task. Additionally, many of the customers (students and their parents) don’t even know this option exists. And, another reason of course, is because schools (and parents) are used to doing things the way they’ve always done them. However, doing things they way they’ve always been done hasn’t proven effective for most industries and it shouldn’t be accepted for our students any longer either. 

5. True friend

A good friend will visit you in hospital and say “Get well soon ” and leave. But a true friend sits near you and says “The nurse is hot, take your time to get well.”. 

1-Honesty

A true friend is always honest no matter what.

It is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know that the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship (which it won’t if you follow the other 9 rules below).

Never take something without permission, even if you know that your friend will be okay with it. Just ask for permission first.

2-Reliability

A true friend is someone you can rely on.

When you make a promise you will always honor it, and when you know you won’t be able to stick to your promise it’s best to be honest and tell your friend that you can’t keep to the promise.

If you say that you’ll do something or be somewhere at a certain date and time, then be there no matter what.

3-Respect

A true friend respects time, property and beliefs.

Time is respected by not wasting it. Be punctual for appointments and let your friend know if you’ll be late or can’t make it at all.

Property is respected by not damaging it. Treat other people’s belongings with care and love.

Beliefs are respected by not judging. If you know that your friend has certain beliefs and morals, respect them, even if you don’t agree with them.

4- Bros Before Hoes

Please excuse the expression but I found it very fitting.

Choosing bros before hoes means that you don’t choose a girl or a boy over your friend. Don’t cancel your plans with your friend or let your friend down just because you want to be with someone you’re interested in.

If the guy or girl you are interested in is really special to you, you can always ask your friend first and they’ll likely understand. But a true friend doesn’t drop you to be with someone else.

5-Selfless

A true friend will sacrifice their own comfort or happiness and put you first.

They are selfless and would not do something for financial or material gain if they knew that it would have a negative effect on your life.

6-Loyalty

A true friend you will stand up for you when you need it. Also when you don’t ask them to.

A true friend is not for sale and will never do anything that will compromise your success or happiness.

7-Patience

A true friend is patient with you. They are understanding when things need time to change or get better and won’t judge you even when you make the same mistake over and over. As long as you’re making the effort to get better.

8- Laugh Together Cry Together

A true friend is not a fair-weather friend. They are there for  you in good times and in bad times. A true friend also shares their own success with you when they achieve it.

9-Constructive Criticism

A true friend is not scared to tell you what you’re doing wrong . They’re not scared to seriously intervene if they see that something is seriously bad for you or if you’re going down the wrong path.But they always support their criticism with advice that can help you improve.

Don’t just say “You’re going to go bankrupt with your new business plan”. Tell them why you think their new business plan will fail. E.g. “You’re putting all your money into something that is not real, or there is an expiry date on the products you’re buying and I don’t think you’ll be able to sell even 10% of what you’re buying”.

10- Forgiveness

A true friend has the ability to forgive. Everyone is human and we all make mistakes at times. We may even break one or more of these golden rules of being a true friend, but if you realize that you messed up and you really show that you’re sorry and try to make things right, a true friend will be able to forgive you. (Just don’t mess up in the same way again because there is a limit to forgiveness).

6. Way of living in modern life

Modern life has changed the face of family life. People part for silly reasons. They do not value the relationships and stress more on their interests and comforts. Vices like ego, anger and selfishness are causing people to part ways more than ever before.

Modern life and family bonds

Marriage is a relationship between two people who love and trust each other. People marry to have a life long partnership with a person. They hope to share their life, their house, belongings and live together for many years till death parts. Marriage vows stresses on such words to seal the relationships between partners in a marriage.

In the modern era, people take each other for granted. They are engrossed in increasing their material possessions and become financially secure. In the race to do so, people forget to tend to their relationships and make it secure. In earlier ages, women were solely dependent on their husbands. They we not given a status of ‘equal’ and thus bore grudges or abuse. Women of the modern age are educated and financially independent. They will not be ready to suffer any ill treatment.

Divorce rates are increasing even in developing countries at a fast rate. People opt for divorce even when children are involved. They do not reconsider their decisions. There are various reasons for this. Partners are less tolerant. The stress of modern life, the fast pace, high expectations, impatience, egoism, anger, emotional insecurity etc; are the common causes for divorce.

Modern life has changed the traditional way of living drastically. A house usually had a plump mother who cooked meals to feed her large family. The men folk used to work hard in the fields and return home happily. The modern life has changed the scenes completely. The mother and father work, often in different shifts. The children interact more with their friends and less with parents. Family meal times are rare. Evening prayers have given way to television shows. This lack of coordination has led to the disintegration of the family.

Vices like ego, anger, selfishness, greed and impatience also have contributed to estrangement. Selfless love which marked the signs of a happy married life is no longer present. Partners are not willing to adjust and compromise. They prefer to part ways than give up their desires or way of life. 

People do not realize that their children imbibe the parent’s attitudes and behavior. The life of the children and a care free childhood is being denied to children of divorced parents. Relocation has a great impact on children’s life emotionally. Changing schools and losing old friends is not acceptable to most children. The partners can try to reconsider divorce decisions if children are involved in order to provide emotional security to children during growing up years. 

Married life may be successful if partners love each other, share unselfishly, adjust to a certain level and avoid unsuccessful arguments and fights. Arguments are never won because the people who argue will be left more convinced of their own strong points rather than accede. People who are married for a long time have withstood the trials of life by trusting, loving their partners and being patient enough to give life one more chance.

7. Money and success

Nowadays, in our society, we can't live without money. It's an exactly theory. The person who have one who has a lot of money are is successful. It's true? I don't believe in this statement, so i disagree with this.

First, we should know what makes the success. Money? No! Money can buy many things, but not everything. It can't buy happiness. It's only a facility or a tool that we use for our life. It's not the measure for a successful person. In my opinion, famous people is alway a master at one or some areas. They must have knowledge and be respected by everybody in the soceity.

Being respected is the important thing. If you try all your best in any areas, your effort will be recognized. It's successful because everybody supports you and knows you, but i don't know the result you will make. I only respect your effort and your good desire. For example, the director of the Microsoft cooperation- Bill Gate started his career with only three employees. No one at that time anticipated that it now has more than 16000 workers in more than 48 countries and produces computer programs in 30 languages and sell them in more than 100 countries. This extremely success depends on his restless effort and his desire about the worldwide computer program. Certainly, he is the richest man in the world, but rich is only the sign of famous people. In contrast, Osama Binladen, he is also very rich, but i don't respect him. I alway feel frightened when i walk on the street of the US (when i travel abroad) because some guns or bullets are waiting seemed to wait for me in any dark corner or in the top of any skyscraper. I hate terrorism. 

Finally, knowledge is one of the most important thing that successful person must have. If you have knowledge, you will do everything well. And you will be the beloved person because of your courteous behavior. Few days ago, Tran Thuy Dung attained Miss Vietnam. It's really a great achievement, but suddenly it has became a big scandal because Tran Thuy Dung doesn't haven't graduated from high school yet and she had made a fake certificate. It's clearly that knowledge is very important, especially in nowadays society. 

It's all my thoughts about success. Money or appearance is never indicator for success. Success only depends on your effort, your desire and your knowledge. Time and history will judge our success.

8. Body language

Body language is a powerful concept which successful people tend to understand well.

The study and theory of body language has become popular in recent years because psychologists have been able to understand what we 'say' through our bodily gestures and facial expressions, so as to translate our body language, revealing its underlying feelings and attitudes.

Body Language is also referred to as 'non-verbal communications', and less commonly 'non-vocal communications'.

The term 'non-verbal communications' tends to be used in a wider sense, and all these terms are somewhat vague.

For the purposes of this article, the terms 'body language' and 'non-verbal communications' are broadly interchangeable. This guide also takes the view that body language/non-verbal communications is the study of how people communicate face-to-face aside from the spoken words themselves, and in this respect the treatment of the subject here is broader than typical body language guides limited merely to body positions and gestures.

If you carry out any serious analysis or discussion you should clarify the terminology in your own way to suit your purposes.

For example:

Does body language include facial expression and eye movement? - Usually, yes.

What about breathing and perspiration? - This depends on your definition of body language.

And while tone and pitch of voice are part of verbal signals, are these part of body language too? - Not normally, but arguably so, especially as you could ignore them if considering only the spoken words and physical gestures/expressions.

There are no absolute right/wrong answers to these questions. It's a matter of interpretation.

A good reason for broadening the scope of body language is to avoid missing important signals which might not be considered within a narrow definition of body language.

Nevertheless confusion easily arises if definitions and context are not properly established, for example:

It is commonly and carelessly quoted that 'non-verbal communications' and/or 'body language' account for up to 93% of the meaning that people take from any human communication. This statistic is actually a distortion based on Albert Mehrabian's research theory, which while itself is something of a cornerstone of body language research, certainly did not make such a sweeping claim.

Mehrabian's research findings in fact focused on communications with a strong emotional or 'feelings' element. Moreover the 93% non-verbal proportion included vocal intonation (paralinguistics), which are regarded by many as falling outside of the body language definition.

Care must therefore be exercised when stating specific figures relating to percentages of meaning conveyed, or in making any firm claims in relation to body language and non-verbal communications.

It is safe to say that body language represents a very significant proportion of meaning that is conveyed and interpreted between people. Many body language experts and sources seem to agree that that between 50-80% of all human communications are non-verbal. So while body language statistics vary according to situation, it is generally accepted that non-verbal communications are very important in how we understand each other (or fail to), especially in face-to-face and one-to-one communications, and most definitely when the communications involve an emotional or attitudinal element.

Body language is especially crucial when we meet someone for the first time.

We form our opinions of someone we meet for the first time in just a few seconds, and this initial instinctual assessment is based far more on what we see and feel about the other person than on the words they speak. On many occasions we form a strong view about a new person before they speak a single word.

Consequently body language is very influential in forming impressions on first meeting someone.

The effect happens both ways - to and from:

When we meet someone for the first time, their body language, on conscious and unconscious levels, largely determines our initial impression of them.

In turn when someone meets us for the first time, they form their initial impression of us largely from our body language and non-verbal signals.

And this two-way effect of body language continues throughout communications and relationships between people.

Body language is constantly being exchanged and interpreted between people, even though much of the time this is happening on an unconscious level.

Remember - while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously) the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting yours.

The people with the most conscious awareness of, and capabilities to read, body language tend to have an advantage over those whose appreciation is limited largely to the unconscious.

You will shift your own awareness of body language from the unconscious into the conscious by learning about the subject, and then by practising your reading of non-verbal communications in your dealings with others.

9. How to keep achieving your goals

I like to define success as the progressive realization of a worthy goal. The purpose of this message is to tell you of a wonderful way to keep realizing -- to keep achieving -- your goals, one after another, in the years ahead.

A goal sometimes seems so far off, and our progress often appears to be so painfully slow, that we have a tendency to lose heart. It sometimes seems we'll never make the grade. And we come close to falling back into old habits that, while they may be comfortable now, lead to nowhere.

Well, there's a way to beat this. It's been used successfully by many of the world's most successful people, and it's been advocated by many of the greatest thinkers. It's to live successfully one day at a time!

The building blocks of a successful life

A lifetime is comprised of days, strung together into weeks, months and years. Let's reduce it to a single day, and then, still furthermore, to each task of that day.

A successful life is nothing more than a lot of successful days put together. It's going to take so many days to reach your goal. If this goal is to be reached in a minimum amount of time, every day must count.

Think of a single day as a building block with which you're building the tower of your life. Just as a stonemason can put only one stone in place at a time, you can live only one day at a time. And it's the way in which these stones are place that will determine the beauty and the strength of your tower. If each stone is successfully placed, the tower will be a success. If, on the other hand, the stones are put down in a hit-or-miss fashion, the whole tower is in danger. Now this may seem to be a rather elementary way of looking at it, but I want to make my point clear -- and it's a good and logical way of looking at a human life.

Putting this idea into practice

All right, then, let's take it one day at a time, from the time we wake up in the morning until we drop-off to sleep at night, keeping our goal in mind as often as possible.

Now, each day consists of a series of tasks -- tasks of all kinds. And the success of a day depends upon the successful completion of most of these tasks. If everything we do during the day is a success -- that is, done in the best fashion of which we are capable -- we can fall asleep that night in the comfortable knowledge that we've done our very best, that our day has been a success, that one more stone has been successfully put into place.

Do each day all that can be done that day. You don't need to overwork -- or to rush blindly into your work, trying to do the greatest possible number of things in the shortest possible amount of time. Don't try to do tomorrow's or next week's work today. It's not so much the number of things you do, but the quality, the efficiency of each separate action that counts. Gradually, you'll find yourself increasing the number of tasks and performing them all much more efficiently.

This is the way to really live!

10. how to lead a happy life

First of all, be realistic. Nobody is happy all of the time and it is perfectly normal to have variations in moods and feelings from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. According to a study based on data from the British Household Panel Survey, overall levels of happiness decline from one's teens until one's 40s and then pick up until they peak in one's early 70s [for more data click here]. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Doesn't that make you happier? At any time and at any age, though, it is possible to feel happier than you have been and here are some ideas for you to consider.

Most fundamentally, recognise that happiness is a state of mind and not something which can be defined objectively. You can change your state of mind in many ways including these suggestions.

Perhaps above all, be as healthy as you can. Nothing is more valuable than your health and little is more likely to make you unhappy than ill-health. For many tips on how to be healthy click here

More importantly than anything else, if you can live with a partner whom you love and respect and who feels the same about you. Kiss and cuddle and compliment often and regularly buy unexpected little gifts. Share your triumphs and your troubles. Evidence shows that a good relationship will not only make you happier; it will enable you to live longer.

When you're old enough and in a steady relationship, have a son or a daughter. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her. If you don't have a child, 'borrow' one - spend time with a nephew or niece or a friend's son or daughter or - when you're older - your grandson or granddaughter. Children really do bring joy.

Have a cat or a dog. Stroke often.

Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support. Don't be afraid to admit when you're down and need a lift. Don't expect them to be mind readers - say how you feel and what you need.

Conversely, if there's a person in your life who is a negative influence and who is dragging you down in some way, don't be afraid to remove such a person from your life.

Smile a lot. Smiles make you miles better - and you smiling will make others smile. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810) put it: “Always wear a smile. The gift of life will then be yours to give.”

Laugh a lot. If you need some help click here.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty really is the best policy.

Be politely assertive. Say how you feel and explain what you want. Friends and colleagues can't be mind readers.

Get things off your chest. If there's something you've been wanting to say to a partner, a relative, a friend or a colleague, say it either orally or in writing - don't let it wait or fester.

Don't procrastinate. Instead of worrying about a decision, take it. You'll immediately feel better. Most personal problems do not lend themselves to a simple right or wrong solution. The point is to decide and move on.

Give lots of compliments. You will make others feel good about themselves and find that this gives you pleasure too.

Give small gifts to your friends. To give is even more pleasurable than to receive. Or, as the social anthropologist Marshall Sahlins, puts it: "Gifts make friends and friends make gifts."

For a special thrill, perform acts of kindness anonymously so that the person benefiting does not know that you're responsible. If you don't understand this, watch the French film "Amélie" 

When your birthday or Christmas is coming, prepare a list of the presents you'd like and give it to a partner, relative or friend to 'manage'. That way people won't struggle to choose a gift for you and you'll receive what you want and like.

Spend less than you earn. The figures may have changed and the decimal system may have arrived, but the lesson is still the same as when, Charles Dickens in "David Copperfield" had Mr Micawber opine: "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen, nineteen, six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds, nought, and six, result misery".

Use your credit card as a convenient way to pay for your major expenditures on a monthly basis - not to obtain credit at an outrageous level of interest.

As Shakespeare put it in "Hamlet", "Neither a borrower nor a lender be". Don't borrow money unless you absolutely have to (for instance, to buy a house or car). Don't lend money - even to relatives - unless you genuinely don't mind if it's not repaid.

Don't gamble. There's enough uncertainty in your life without you adding more - and anyway, in the long run, you can't win. (A little flutter on the lottery is allowed.)

Give regularly to the charities of your choice. Make at least one of those charities an organisation addressing world poverty. Regularly increase your contributions as your income rises.

If you are a woman, get your hair done. This will always make you feel better about yourself. I'm afraid I don't know of a male equivalent to this pick-me-up.

Surround yourself with pleasant smells. Have flowers, pot-pourri or scented candles in most rooms of the house and in your office.

Stay close to nature. Have flowers and plants in your home and office [see the website Plants for People click here]. Spend time in the garden or local park. Take walks in the countryside and by the seaside.

Every so often, spend a little time observing the night sky. As you contemplate the distances and time involved, it will put your life and your concerns into more perspective.

Read a quality newspaper on a daily basis. Learning is fun and the easiest way to learn is to check out news and features each day so that, over time, your knowledge and interests grow and deepen.

Take a weekly or monthly magazine reflecting a personal interest. You'll come to really look forward to each new issue, like a visit from a friend.

Read regularly and widely. Good fiction will widen your vocabulary and put you in touch with your emotions, while a range of non-fiction will extend your knowledge and interests.

Listen to some rousing music. For classical music, try Saint-Saëns Symphony No 3 (organ) or Beethoven's Symphony No 9 ('Ode To Joy'). For popular music, try "Atomic" by Blondie or "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Have a favourite television programme, so that you can really look forward to seeing it. Mine used to be "Friends" and then "The West Wing".

Watch "It's A Wonderful Life" on Christmas television every few years [for review click here]. It's really life-affirming.

Go out and see a good movie. A romantic comedy - something like "Bridget Jones's Diary" [for review click here] or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" [for review click here] - usually works well.

Treat yourself often to something 'cheap and cheerful' that you like - chocolates, flowers, a magazine, a cake, a CD. It costs little and you're worth it.

Cultivate a few favourite places to eat and drink outside the home. Then, when you go to familiar café or restaurant where you like the ambience and the menu and the staff know you, you'll feel comfortable and content.